I read this article this morning and I can totally understand having had a loss myself, how the grief and sadness could affect one’s ability to function. I think that miscarriage is not often spoken about and there needs to be an open dialogue so that women who do experience them don’t have to suffer the sadness alone. It has to stop being a taboo subject and start being something that is regularly spoken about.
I was lucky enough to be able to cope and move forward to where I am now 15 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby, but I can completely understand how a loss can literally break a person and multiple losses can be devastating. I think that a miscarriage can cause postpartum depression just as much as having a baby can as the hormone crash will still happen either way. I also believe that we need to start having more of these conversations. Miscarriage is not a disease, it happens to healthy women all the time. It happens to women having their very first child and can happen, like in my case, after several perfect pregnancies. We are not broken, we are not damaged and it’s not our fault. We haven’t done anything to cause them and we couldn’t do anything to prevent them. This burden can weigh heavily on any woman. I know for me I felt like I had somehow let my husband down by losing our baby. I kept thinking I must have done something wrong although I know in my heart I had not. I couldn’t understand how I could have 4 beautiful children after 4 great pregnancies and then couldn’t keep this one. If I had not had the support I had, I could totally see how a woman could slip into a deep depression, always wondering what if.
I remember after I wrote my post about my loss, I had several people comment that it was brave of me to speak about it and then I had others who literally unfollowed my blog page and hid my post on Facebook. I couldn’t understand why that had happened but then I realized that it was because for some people it may have brought up memories that they couldn’t handle or that it is such a taboo topic that some people literally did not want to see it.
Let’s make miscarriage a topic that is always out there, no more stigma, no more taboo. There is no shame in loss and we must help to build one another up and support each other through even the most uncomfortable to talk about, but let’s talk about it. I know that there is a stigma almost attached to those who have suffered a loss and it’s not fair and it’s not right. There was nothing any of us could do to stop it and there is no blame to be had. Our angels are together and looking out for each and every one of us or at least that is what I want to believe.
What are your thoughts? Do you feel like discussing miscarriage and loss has a stigma attached to it?